quietlyradical

With its relentlessly upbeat lyrics, it is fairly ironic that Arlen and Mercer’s, Academy Award winning song, Accentuate the Positive became wildly popular, given that it was performed by Bing Crosby, an outwardly lovable guy, whom we now know had a terrible dark side and that it was written and released near the end of World War II, one of the most trying times, up to that point, in American history.  I say ironic, because it seems that in our relatively privileged position today, we generally do the opposite of what the song suggests.  In my continuing observation and analysis of the online discussion forum known as Quora, I’ve been struck by the fact that the more negative the content or question, the greater the number of answers, comments, views, followers, upvotes and shares it receives.  As a case in point, I’d like to look at a question posed back in 2019 regarding, “What qualities do generous people have in common?”

I was the first of only three people who have, in the four years since this question originated, deigned to answer it.  I wrote, “I think truly generous people are those who give without expecting anything in return.  They gain more joy and satisfaction from helping others than from receiving material goods or money.  I also think that they don’t really worry about whether the recipient “deserves” their help.  They see a need and seek to fill it as best they can.  Sadly, I think these kinds of people are quite rare.”

Liz Christmas wrote, “Generosity, caring about other people.  That is all. We don’t have to be rich to be generous.  We can be generous in all sorts of ways, including including (sic) people that others wouldn’t in things we do” (Christmas, 2019).

Mike Carter, who listed his occupation as “Freelance Creative”, wrote, “They can put their self- importance aside when they need to” (Carter, 2019).

Three answers – only slightly more than 100 words combined.  My answer got three upvotes; the other two received none.

On the other hand, when I searched the key word “selfish”, which I would consider to be the opposite of “generous” here are the questions and results that Quora had to offer.  The question,

“What are the advantages of being selfish?” received more than 100 answers.  While many of these answers said that there were no real advantages to selfishness or that selfishness should be pursued mainly in the form of self-care in order to enable one to achieve higher goals, those answers generally had less than ten upvotes each.  It was this answer by Loy Machedo that received the lion’s share of approval from the Quora community with  217 upvotes so far.  He wrote, “I am 100% selfish, self-centered, self-loving, self-praising, self-focused and indulgent. And that is one of the biggest reasons for my success. And I will not at all be apologetic about it. Why should I? There are many who do not approve of this philosophy of mine. And that is where I remind them – when I was dying on the streets of India 7 years ago – no one came to even give me a glass of water. No one. I picked up my own dying self and became the man I am today. So now that I am super successful – why in the world should I start being selfless when being selfish helped me reach where I am today?

Personally, I do not mind if you give all your money, your wealth, your time, your effort, your everything to the world. I will salute you. But please – do not expect me to follow suit. Because I come from a world where money and power do the talking. And being good – well, gets you used by others.

This maybe  (sic) a very unpopular answer – but this is what makes the world go round. Greed. Not need” (Machedo, 2017). 

To be fair, there is a note that Mr. Machedo’s Quora account is now banned, however, that gives me small comfort since he lists his occupation as “Mentor, Coach, and Expert in Understanding Human Behavior” and at the time that the account was banned he had more than 56,000 followers! He still has a major following on countless other social media sites and Rocket Reach places his annual business revenue at $400,000 in 2023 (Loy Machado Information, 2023).

Has society always been this way or has the internet simply exposed the darker sides of ourselves which have always been there?  Does selfishness create success or does success create selfishness?  I can honestly say that I don’t know the answer to that question.  What I do know is that without some generosity of spirit we don’t have any hope of solving the other problems in our world.  Oil and gas companies and the politicians who have sold out to them selfishly place profit above the concern for healing our planet from the long-term effects of climate change.  The National Rifle Association (NRA), firearms manufacturers, and even gun enthusiasts to a certain extent, continue to selfishly place political power, profit, and a skewed view of “Second Amendment Rights” above the health and safety of American citizens. For-profit hospitals, pharmaceutical and health insurance companies deride a national health program as “socialism” to people who only “know” that “socialism is bad” despite being, in many cases, unable to explain what it is and why. 

While there are lots of theories about why people are selfish, including genetics and environmental factors, there is very little in the way of information about how to possibly cure or even prevent extreme selfishness in the first place. Perhaps if our society gave awards and recognition for showing empathy rather than for “crushing” our opponents, empathy would become more highly valued as a measure of “success.”  There are all sorts of self-help book and articles with titles such as, “How to Stop Being Selfish” or “How to Eliminate Selfish People from Your Life.”  However, I think the ultimate solution is both far simpler and simultaneously nearly impossible:  if we want to eliminate selfish behavior, we must stop rewarding it and therein lies the paradox.  From the story of Adam and Eve we see that humankind is inherently selfish – (Eve didn’t eat the fruit because she was hungry.  She did it because the serpent convinced her that eating the fruit would give her the knowledge of good and evil and she would be like God.)  So, rather than trying to change something that seems hardwired into our collective psyche, why not make the rewards for generosity and empathy so great what we selfishly want to “outgive” and “out empathize each other” instead?  In lieu of million-dollar contracts and championship rings for beating opposing athletic teams, why not give cash awards and recognition for things like reducing hunger and homelessness in our neighborhoods?  Replace the celebration of corporate greed and record-setting Return on Investment (ROI) for a limited number of shareholders with bonuses for ordinary people who mentor at-risk children, or switch to solar powered homes, electric vehicles, and who voluntarily give up their guns.  Maybe it’s a crazy idea – but certainly no crazier than continuing down the “lose-lose” path that we are currently on.