The Quora Chronicles – Part 6
Actor Louis Gossett, Jr. made history as the first Black American to win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Marine Corp Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley in the 1982 film, “An Officer and a Gentleman.”
One of Foley’s most memorable lines comes when Richard Gere’s character first arrives for basic training as a naval officer and makes the mistake of looking Sergeant Foley directly in the eyes. When Foley sternly tells the new recruit to, “Stop eyeballing me, Boy!”, the audience is on notice that from that moment on, Gere’s character is on Sergeant Foley’s radar and that this is not necessarily a good thing.
This scene came to mind when I encountered the following question posted on Quora.
“Why do parents kneel when talking to children?”
The question received ten responses, and all were some variation of the idea that kneeling is “less intimidating” and “more respectful” to a young child and encourages direct eye contact. It dawned on me, however, that this was one of the many differences in parenting styles between Caucasian American parents and parents of color. In white, Western culture, making eye contact is viewed positively. It is viewed as a sign that one’s conversation partner is listening attentively. To look away is regarded as a sign that the person is either ignoring the speaker or has something to hide. What white American parents may fail to realize, however, is that for people of African, Asian, and Latin American descent, direct eye contact is often perceived as disrespectful and challenging authority, and may well elicit a response not unlike that of Sergeant Foley.
So, why is this important? If teachers, police officers, judges, and people making hiring decisions are unaware of this difference, people of color may find themselves at a disadvantage without ever really understanding why. David Timm, a faculty associate at the University of Wisconsin – Madison, explains it very well, “European Americans tend to maintain direct eye contact with others regardless of social standing…African Americans maintain eye contact about 50% of the time when speaking and even less when listening…In Cuban, Mexican, and Puerto Rican culture, maintained eye contact may be associated with invoking the ‘evil eye’, which causes illness or injury…among Native Americans, Filipinos, and the Japanese, prolonged eye contact can be perceived as disrespectful, rude, or challenging.”
We often read various statistics about students of color being disciplined more often and receiving harsher punishments for the same infractions as white students in schools. Violent encounters with police and disparity in conviction and sentencing rates within the criminal justice system by race are also well documented. The corporate world is not immune, either. I can remember, as a young management trainee for a large insurance company, constantly being coached to “look people in the eye” during mock interviews, a concept that went against everything I had been taught about interacting with figures of authority as I was growing up. I often wonder, when we consider disparity in hiring, promotions, and salaries amount people of color, what percentage of the cases of minorities being overlooked can be attributed to something as simple as differences in cultural norms concerning eye contact?
There are so many times, on Quora and in the world at large, that hite Americans will boast that they, “don’t see color,” honestly believing that this is the highest compliment that they can pay to the non-white individuals that they encounter. The truth, however, is that it isn’t inherently wrong to “see color”; in fact, there are times when it is absolutely necessary in order to understand that failing to recognize these subtle differences in perspective may cause us to miss the unique contributions that each person may bring to the table.
quietlyradical 